Perspectives: Protecting our future generations

A young couple hold hands as they walk together.

Story and photo by Faye Bayko

I’m getting tired of all this trash talk about men. I hear it in the movies. I hear it in coffeeshops. I hear it at family gatherings. It spills forth and contaminates.

To be clear, the MeToo movement hasn’t made women stronger, it’s just made them the new bullies on the block. It’s as if they haven’t learned anything from history and are determined to repeat it.

If a man said the things I’ve heard come out of this generation of women’s mouths, especially when in front of a female child, there would’ve be an uproar from the community. But for some reason we’ve allowed the formation of a thug mentality in which putting men down in public, including in front of our sons, has not only become accepted, but encouraged. That’s bullying in overdrive, and it needs to be stopped.

I don’t want to hear another story of how a woman gave in to the demands of a casting couch (whatever the profession) then cried “Wolf” thirty years later. Unless there was a gun involved, or some other life-threatening situation, there was a decision made by each of those women. That decision was to lay down on the couch and get whatever reward was promised, or not to lay down on the couch and accept the loss of that particular reward. It all comes down to how confident each woman felt in their own abilities. The weak lay down. The strong walk out and find a life where they’re accepted for what’s between their ears, rather than between their legs.

I want to hear from any women who told the man attempting to maul her to take a hike and walked away. I want to hear from women and men who survived an attack and didn’t let themselves identify as a victim, or allow the attack to keep them from enjoying the rest of their life. I want to hear from women who’ve found a good man and are cherishing him. I want to hear from the women who are raising their sons with kindness and respect. They’re the unsung heroes. They’re the hope of the future.

The men who are struggling to thrive under this new oppressive order are also unsung heroes. They need to be appreciated and encouraged, allowed to find their feet and meet their goals. I don’t care if they’re white, yellow, black or green with pink polka dots. They’re human beings who deserve to be respected, just as past, true women’s movements, asked that women be respected as humans beings.

Like so many things in our world right now, it seems we are expected to clap for the person who shouts the loudest. We no longer ask “Why”. Isn’t that a road we’ve traveled in the past and ended up paying dearly for it?

History is full of examples of whole populations blindly following bullies, then years later playing the victim card.

The MeToo movement has exploded into a victimfest. It has created a generation of young women who feel the world owes them, that they no longer need to practice courtesy, politeness, maturity. They throw themselves on the ground, pounding their fists, and screaming “I want, I want, I want”!

We need to learn from history, instead of ignoring it, and stop going around on these ridiculous abuse cycles. Victims do NOT have to become the new bullies. Victimhood is an attitude, not an excuse to inflict pain on others in the name of ‘Justice’. Nor should it be seen as courageous. It takes no courage, or intelligence, to repeat a cycle of abuse. That’s a coward’s game.

The future does NOT belong to women alone, but to the respectful partnership of women and men, no matter how they identify. And it’s through observing these partnerships our children will learn the skills needed to cope with any challenge that may come into their lives.

About Author

Faye Bayko
I am a writer and photographer currently working out of Port Alberni, BC.